Princeton students are braving the cold to show their support for Traditional Perambulatory Values:
A group of students opposed to the recently-passed California marriage amendment (Proposition 8) gathered outside of Firestone Library at 9:30 this morning to launch a day-long protest in support of their own Prop 8, an initiative to ban Freshmen from sidewalks in order to "restore the definition of sidewalk accessibility to what the vast majority of Princeton students already believe it should mean and what Princetonians agree should be supported, not undermined." The protest's organizers explain their demonstration on the group's Facebook page:
We believe that California's Proposition 8 is illegal and immoral. The use of a state-wide referendum to limit the rights of a minority group is the very sort of action the that the constitution ought to defend against. We hope to point out the danger and absurdity of that proposition by advocating for our own "Princeton Proposition 8" which will 'ban freshmen from walking on campus sidewalks.' We hope to parallel the language and actions of the real Prop 8 as much as possible, as we believe the injustice speaks for itself and needs no exaggeration. We will be careful not to turn this into an attack on any particular group or organization, instead choosing to focus on the moral, legal, and logical reasons why Proposition 8 should be overturned.
The protest is scheduled to continue throughout the day today and again from 9:30 to 5:00 PM tomorrow. If you're in the Princeton area, stop by to show your support!
Hello, friends. I'm-a introduce-a myself. It's-a Father Marco Polo here, bringing you all-a the gossip that the Holy Father wants-a you to know. We got-a very important story today, some I'm-a no tease you, but jump right in.
My sources are-a all abuzz today. They are-a tell me that Senator Omama is-a gon announce that he pick a running mate today. And, this is-a ver' important, it's-a not be a Catholic. No. Not even a Presbyterian. No. Not even a Christian at all.
Now, this might have be a big-a deal once upon a time. Because, you know, America is-a Christian nation and-a all that. But - after having the Left Hand of-a Satan as VP for-a eight years - a Jew not so bad. That, by the way, is how-a the Pope refer to Dick Cheney, so don't send-a me hate mail.
"Today, New Jersey takes a bold step into the future," Governor Bore-Zine mumbled emphatically. "Today, by repealing the Death Penalty, we remove the only remaining obstacle in allowing New Jersey drivers to make our streets and highways safer by chasing down and choking the life out of aggressive drivers."
State Senate President Prick Brodey snoozed peacefully in the wings as is the new tradition in Trenton when the Governor speaks. But not all New Jersey politicians took this lying down (though, technically, Brodey was sitting in his chair).
"I'm not taking this lying down," said State Senator Cary Gardinale. "I have guns and I'm not afraid to use them. In fact, I insist that my dentist hold a gun to my head when he's drilling. That way I don't pussy-foot around and take it like a man. And that isn't some gay mafia reference, either! So don't spin my words! You know - gay mafia - the homee ohs asexuals."
Our editor, Attila T. Hunnybear, has decided to compete with Forbes and release a Jersey-centric list of powerful people. Amazingly, it smells like no one has been doing this for New Jersey. No one. Nada. Totally new territory here, folks.
Dark Horse Candidate of the Year: John F. Kennedy for President. This guy doesn't just kiss traitorous Flemocrats, he tongues them down as his running mate!
Best Virtual Pie Eater - Jerk Passedherneck has managed to turn his right-wing dumbassery site into the biggest embarrassment a peddler ever had.
Best Pornstar-turned-consultant - Scotty Swords. 'Nuff said.
Onions have layers, people. Peel something off after the next layer.
Earlier this week, Tom Moran had a sit-down with Bogota Mayor Steve Lonegan.
MORAN: You are generally looked to as the leader of a conclave in New Jersey, of conservatives disaffected by their government and the state's Republican Party.
LONEGAN: That's right, Tom. It's a real movement we have here.
MORAN: How did your movement single-handedly defeat last week's referendum on stem cell research.
LONEGAN: We were absolutely critical. I had 2,000 real activists, and we rolled into action on this. That's how we were able to put up 15,000 signs in less than two weeks. If we had more money, we would have beaten the open space referendum, too. And given another two weeks in the cycle, we would have easily recalled the governor and elected me.
MORAN: Mayor, might I then ask why, if you had such a movement with 2,000 "real" activists, was it necessary you hire undocumented workers to assemble your signs?
LONEGAN: (Confused) I'm not following you here.
MORAN: Well, why not have the 2,000 activists assemble the signs?
LONEGAN: (Indignant) Are you crazy? This is a movement and my people are activists, but they're not fanatics, they're not zealots! The kind of dedication needed to assemble a sign -- it could take hours!
MORAN: Then what do you do when you need to assemble signs?
LONEGAN: You go to a street corner in Palisades Park and pick up a few Latino day-laborers. Assembling signs to advocate for a core-belief is no job for an activist.
MORAN: But they weren't legal.
LONEGAN: I didn't know that. I just assumed that if they're standing on a street corner looking for work, they've got to be here legally.
MORAN: But don't you see the hypocrisy of hiring these men to assemble your movement's signs, while railing against illegal immigration, and in doing so lumping together everything that is Spanish-language and of Latin-American orientation into the sphere of lawlessness and criminality?
LONEGAN: Got you there, Tom. I've never paid an illegal immigrant in my life.
COMMITTEE RELEASES DIEGNAN/LAMPITT MEASURE TO ENSURE DUNKIN' DONUTS OR THE DOUBLE D DOESN'T NEGLECT 'NJ'
Legislators Say State's Coffee of Choice Should More Prominently Display Ties to New Jersey
(TRENTON) - The Assembly Barista Committee today released legislation Assemblyman Patrick Diegnan and Assemblywoman Pamela R. Lampitt sponsored calling on the Dunkin' Donuts to redesign the orange and pink logo used by its franchises in the state to more closely link the coffee store with New Jersey.
"The Dunkin' is our state coffee, yes I know it was founded in Quincy, Massachusetts and is an international retailer, but they still should be proud to display its ties to New Jersey as residents are to call their coffee - liquid crack," said prime sponsor Assemblyman Diegnan, "You wanna know why I introduced this bill? Have you ever tried their Coffee Coolatta with whip cream...for God's sake there is a Baskin Robbins and its 31 flavors right there."
The Diegnan/Lampitt measure AR301 would urge Dunkin' Donuts to redesign its round-letter "DUNKIN' DONUTS" - prominently displayed on the front of the business' stores, coffee cups, donut boxes, boxes of Joe, napkins and even straws - to include the letters "N" and "J". Assemblyman Diegnan to prove his point showed off a Jerseyfied Dunkin' Donuts logo created by his wife, Anita, with the letters "NJ" added to the front in chicken scratch. "My wife likes to draw the letters "NJ" on almost everything," said Diegnan (D-Middlesex), the panel's chairman. "She really loves being from New Jersey. Last week, we went to see Spider Man 3 and in the time it took for me to buy the tickets she had already written NJ Spider Man 3 on the movie poster and no, I don't know why people ask me if she is eight years old."
"I am looking at resolutions that would urge every business, organization and place of worship in New Jersey to put the letters "NJ" before it," said Lampitt (D-Camden), the panel's vice-chair. "Think about how much easier it would be to find a taxidermist if it was in the phonebook under "N". This bill practically writes itself."
Appearing before a stunned committee hearing to testify despite passing away in 2005 was Michael Vale, former mascot of Dunkin' Donuts, famous for his "time to make the donuts" catchphrase. Mr. Vale emphasized that while Dunkin' Donuts is an international business, it has always been at its heart a place where people gather together before facing their day and that he could see how this sense of community and pride in the local Dunkin' Donuts could translate into the bill before the committee. However, he cautioned that having died of diabetes more than two years ago that it might be best to cut down on the sugar and make less donuts.
The bill was released 7-1. It now heads to the Assembly Speaker, who decides when the best time not to post the bill for a floor vote is.
Update: Our statehouse correspondent and logo design expert Jay Lassiter adds his rendition of the proposed modified logos: (regular and Steve Lonegan special edition)
Governor Corzine just issued a statement on his plan to revitalize Camden, which begins with asking the legislature to extend the Recovery Act for another five years. He adds:
"As we move forward, the focus of the state's efforts in Camden will be to improve basic governance, including the delivery of essential municipal services, and to foster constructive community engagement. The state also will continue its close involvement with all stakeholders in the vital areas of public safety, public education, and economic and community development."
Sounds like the plan of someone that hasn't been paying much attention. These are all nice ideas, but what will happen to Camden once gay people start to marry? Chaos, death and destruction on a scale we can't imagine. This poorly thought out plan will fail. I'll go so far as to predict that within 5 years, Camden will be one of the least family-friendly places in the country. Mark my words.
Interested in presenting both sides of the issue, Smells Like the Onion went out on the street to find Tom Kean, Jr's base and understand why they support him. What follows are transcripts of actual on-the-street-interviews:
I support Kean all the way! He's definitely going to be the next heavyweight champion of the world! Float like a gaseous emission, sting like diesel soot in your eyes - that's Jersey-style!
(Note: Bill Maher never really gets to NJ specific issues on his show, so this is a supplement to that.)
New rule: Junior must make a campaign appearance with President Bush. Last night on News12 NJ, both Junior and Tom Wilson both said they would welcome George W. Bush to the Garden State to campaign with Junior. I want to see that happen. Or will this just be another Junior flip flop?
Corrollary to New Rule #1: Junior for Senate drivers are banned from Route 1.
New Rule: The first line of any primary concession speech should be: "I want to thank [name of primary opponent] on a well-fought race. I hope to be able to work with [name of primary opponent] to bring the party together to defeat [name of Republican opponent]." To do otherwise is being a sore loser. **Cough, cough. Joe Vas. Cough, cough**
New Rule: Losing 67-33 is not a good showing - it's an ass-whuppin'. On the same note, 75-25 is a major ass-whuppin'. It's not a moral victory. The only victory is that of your political consultants who are now richer because of you.
New Rule: Menendez supporters need to follow Junior around with lawnmowers to all of his events. Yes, it may be a touch annoying after a while, but it would be pretty damn funny until then.
New Rule: You should not be allowed to put out a statement criticizing someone's proposals until you actually have heard the proposal. Senator Bucco, this means you.
