The Star Ledger, typically a friendly voice on the subject of marriage equality, went off the rails today in an editorial suggesting the state consider a referendum on "Gay Marriage." I could not disagree more.
As an initial matter, I wish once and for all that educated people would stop referring to the issue of marriage equality as the right to "gay marriage." They may as well call it "schmarriage" (as some have). There is no such thing as a right to "Italian marriage" or "Black marriage" or "Hindu marriage" or "Second marriage" - and, it's insulting in 2012 for the Star Ledger to still be framing the issue that way. Same-sex couples are not seeking a special right to engage in some subset of actual marriage - we are seeking equality in the freedom to marry our partners and have those marriages recognized by the state, no more and no less. Labels matter.
That's how Garden State Equality's leader Steven Goldstein described the pace of the marriage equality effort in New Jersey. He spoke briefly at today's legislative press conference in Trenton:
Among the scores of Democratic politicians in today's crowded Marriage Equality press conference was one federal official, Congressman Rush Holt. Holt represented the entire New Jersey congressional delegation - all seven congressmen and both senators - in expressing their support for the Marriage Equality bill, S1. Holt's brief remarks are below; the text of the letter is after the fold.
I'm re-posting this from Monday. That morning, one of the busiest days in the Senate, the Democratic leadership granted Blue Jersey a significant amount of time for this interview. It was overshadowed by the tragic events that evening, but the remarks by Senators Sweeney and Weinberg set the stage for the new session, ahead.
This morning, Senate President Stephen Sweeney and incoming Majority Leader Senator Loretta Weinberg took time out of their busy day to give Blue Jersey readers an exclusive interview. They talked about the accomplishments of the last session, goals for the new session (which starts tomorrow), the new initiative for marriage equality, jobs, energy, and the recent controversies about residency requirements in the last legislative election.
We should never have to apologize for giving credit where it's due. Thank you Steven, and thank you Senator Sweeney! - JG
Can you believe I'm nervous about making a post here, dear Blue Jersey friends? I understand that we progressives have differed with Senator Sweeney on some issues, especially with regard to labor. But I am posting here about Senator Sweeney and marriage equality because fairness compels me to. Please do not demolish me for doing so. For as my grandmother of blessed memory would say, Nu, Steven, how much more therapy do you need?
By now, you've read the stories that Senator Sweeney will be leading the way today in announcing the re-introduction of a marriage equality bill. A special shout out of thanks, by the way, to Assemblyman Reed Gusciora, who has worked tirelessly for years on this issue and will continue to lead the way in the Assembly, and to our Senator Loretta Weinberg, our tireless and beloved legend. And to too many others to name, but most of all to the Blue Jersey community, Garden State Equality's incredible partners in the fight for marriage equality.
Back to Senator Sweeney: This round of marriage equality, he has been spectacular. Other than how our Loretta fights for every issue she believes in, I have rarely seen a legislator work so hard behind the scenes for an issue he believes in.
Yes, Steve had a different view two years ago. But a few months after his last marriage equality vote, Senator Sweeney came to me and said he wanted to make it right. In private, and I think it's okay if I say this, he spoke at quite some length about his change of heart, and this was well before any votes down the line that many disagree with. His change was not a public relations stunt to divert attention from anything else.
I know - I have spent hours with the guy since the start of 2011. Like all people in public life, he's not two-dimensional. More than most people in public life I know, and that's more than a handful, the guy has a capacity for growth and self-reflection. He's not only been amazing on marriage equality, but I also believe we can work with him on other issues, too, and that the team of Steve and Loretta together will fight big fights for us and do big things for us - things we believe in.
I publicly thank Steve Sweeney, and I thank you in advance for not hating me for posting this. Oy, mamele, now the dozens of posts begin!
In a powerful op-ed in favor of marriage equality, which appeared in yesterday's Star Ledger, Sen. Bob Menendez pledged his support for the Federal Respect for Marriage Act, a bill that would repeal the so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). And in doing so, Sen. Menendez spoke in no uncertain terms about the injustice that continues to face same-sex couples who wish to marry in New Jersey and elsewhere:
[F]or me, this comes down to an issue of fundamental fairness. For me, this comes down to the principles I learned as the child of immigrants and that I cherish as an American: that we believe in equality for all people under the law.
Perhaps what is most compelling is the fact, which Sen. Menendez acknowledges in his op-ed, that he voted 15 years ago for DOMA, along with an overwhelming number of his colleagues. But following that vote, the Senator notes: "like tens of millions of Americans, [he has] reflected deeply and frequently about this issue." That is what has been happening in America, at kitchen tables, holiday meals, community events, and more. And it is something to be applauded. That's how progress happens.
Menendez became the 32nd U.S. Senator to publicly announce support for the bill, which is also sponsored by 134 members of the House. Indeed, in New Jersey, support from our Democratic Congressional delegation is nearly unanimous. Yet, despite those solid and growing numbers, support for the bill here (and nationally) continues, regrettably, to be primarily from the Democratic side of the aisle.
Over two decades ago, I did some volunteer work for a non-profit organization in Syracuse, New York. One of the executives at that organization was a young man named Dave Valesky. I remember his genuine appreciation toward me and other volunteers for putting in time to help there. His attitude toward his volunteers made working there fun and rewarding.
After I moved to New Jersey, I was pleased to learn that in 2004, Valesky was elected to the New York State Senate to represent the people of Central New York as a Democrat.
I was even more pleased to read this Catholic senator from a conservative district has been a supporter of marriage equality, leading to full marriage rights in the Empire State.
So even though the parameters of the marriage equality battle may be different in New Jersey, I reached out to Valesky to learn about his decision to vote for equality and how it might help the upcoming debate here. He was gracious enough to spend some time with me on a telephone interview.
Below is the second half of my interview with Assemblywoman Valerie Vainieri-Huttle (recorded yesterday). She talks about the environment, affordable housing, marriage equality, and the political landscape in Trenton.
If you missed part 1 yesterday, you can find it at this link. Vainieri-Huttle discussed her accomplishments with Anti-Bullying legislation, the status of legislation on women's health, education, and the Port of New York New Jersey Authority.
With Lamda Legal's attorney Hayley J. Gorenberg appearing in court today on behalf of Garden State Equality and seven same-sex couples and their children, Judge Linda Feinberg rejected the State's effort to dismiss the case.
After the hearing Attorney Gorenberg said, "I am very pleased that the judge agreed that our clients should get their deserved day in court. They have been suffering for years under marriage discrimination. Today is one step closer to justice." On Thursday the lawyers and judge will set up a discovery schedule and create a framework for going forward.
NJ recognizes civil unions and it honors marriages of same-sex couples from other jurisdictions, but it has not enacted marriage equality. As Lamda Legal says, even with civil unions "individuals in same-sex relationships frequently are treated like strangers under the law which most deeply affect those with children, those with fewer financial resources, people of color, senior citizens or those with less access to education, branding lesbians and gay men as second class."
If you're around and available today at 10am, I hope you'll tune into Philly's NPR call-in talk show "Radio Times". I'll be the guest for today's first hour, joined my my friend and foe Brian McGovern of SaveJersey.com. The show runs from 10-11am. WHYY can be found at 90.9 on your FM dial, but you can also listen online.
With the election just 17 days away, there's a lot to debate -- pension benefits, NJN RIP, Marriage and marijuana -- and I hope you'll call in to join in the fun. The number is 1-888-477-WHYY
(1-888-477-9499)
Congratulations on your wedding. I wish New Jersey would recognize in your vows what the two of you have committed to each other. - promoted by Rosi
Yesterday, I married my partner of 24 years. We had a small, intimate wedding in the judge's chamber in a court house located in downtown New York City. It was a bright, sunny and warm day-a perfect day for a wedding. My partner and I were so excited that this day had finally come-the day that we had dreamed of for a long time and never thought would become a reality. Tears of joy filled our faces as the judge announced that we are a legally married couple. I hugged my husband and kissed him, as our friends applauded and congratulated us.
Alex & Sean got married yesterday. As close to home as they could make it, and still be legal. They said their vows on a beautiful boat sailing around New York City. Cruising close to New Jersey, both grooms and many of the guests climbed up topside and gave New Jersey the finger. (Photo courtesy Jeff Tureaud, candidshotphoto.com)
Don't get the wrong idea. Alex & Sean love New Jersey. So do I. So do their guests, especially the ones who live here, as Alex & Sean do. But they're disappointed in their state where their commitment to each other is recognized only as a thing apart, not quite what it is.
At Blue Jersey, we mostly report about marriage equality, not so much actual weddings. But I was lucky enough to be invited to this wedding, and both the grooms are members of the Blue Jersey community. So for me, ME will forever be about Alex and Sean, who have loved each other for 13 years, and waited most of this time for the law to catch up to their own jubilant love.
I love weddings. And this one was spectacular. Vows topside on a yacht, under sunny skies the color of the water. Both grooms escorted by family to cheers from all of us as they came upstairs into the sunlight. Marriage vows warm and personal. Guests gay and straight. On the guest list, a same-sex couple just married in New York this week, at our table another getting hitched on Thursday. Even a proposal on board. "A rainbow tsunami of love," one guest called it.
When Garden State Equality lobbied state senators in the runup to their crushing 2010 No vote part of the case made was economic.
A few years ago, the Williams Institute at UCLA projected $248 million in spending in NJ if we gained marriage equality before surrounding states. Our friend Jack Bohrer did a great job illustrating how that might impact tourism in destination Atlantic City, still struggling with revenue loss and hotel layoffs. At this point, with NY and destination NYC getting the jump on us, we can only guess at the money flowing across the Hudson from family-minded Jersey couples. And those across the country spending their money there, instead of here. With our failure to come in early, we can only guess at the revenue sacrificed.
But something even bigger is lost. Yesterday, the proprietors of this lovely boat were so excited by their inaugural same-sex wedding, that all the servers were outfitted in different rainbow colors. Spirits were high; it meant something to be there.
There is so much goodwill for Love. And that's what skittish legislators have missed, the goodwill good people have for happy families and loving couples. Even beyond the loss of wedding revenue, we lose living in a culture of greater acceptance of each other, in celebration of the happiness of our neighbors, in the infectious joy of people pledging forever to the one they love for the world to see.
So, here's to the day New Jersey's decision-makers catch up to her people. Here's to the day we strengthen marriage itself by recognizing all our families. Here's to the day when this most extraordinary day in a couple's life can take place on our turf, or in our waters.
Here's to Love. And here's to Alex & Sean. Married October 2, 2011, in New York City.
Disclosure: Yes, I'm on GSE's board. And Blue Jersey's all in for Love. Any questions?
BlueJersey turned six the other day and that got me a little nostalgic. Next thing I knew, I'm digging through the archives -- nearly 20,000 diaries --and finding some real BlueJersey gems dating back to 2005.
Some of the stuff even seemed worth sharing (or re-sharing, in this case.) So follow me below the fold to relive some nuggets from this date, October 3rd, in years past.
In just two days - this Saturday, September 24th at 5:00 p.m. - Team Blue Jersey is going to take a walk with a bunch of our friends to raise money for marriage equality. There's still time to join us!
We're taking part in Equality Walk 2011 - Garden State Equality's low-dollar per person fundraiser that allows everyone to participate - there's no required minimum amount for you to raise. And, the beauty of this grassroots approach is that small contributions really add up. Take Team Blue Jersey for example - we set a modest goal of raising $500, and quickly surpassed it. Then we bumped it to $750, and passed it. Then $1,000, ... check.
In fact, thanks to the efforts of Blue Jersey readers and friends, we're closing in on being one of GSE's Top 5 Fundraising teams for the event! So now, we need your help to get to Team Blue Jersey's new goal of reaching $1,500 for Garden State Equality's 2011 Equality Walk by the time the walk kicks off Saturday at 5pm. So we've got 48 Hours left. Let's do it!
And even if you can't join us on Saturday, you can help by joining our team and raising money, or by just contributing directly to Team Blue Jersey. Thank you all, and hope to see you Saturday! :)
This past Saturday, I sat down with Assemblyman Upendra Chivukula to conduct a video interview. Part 1 was posted on Blue Jersey here. Part 2 appears below the fold.
Following the interview, I met with the Assemblyman and his press aide for over an hour for an off-the-record discussion of New Jersey politics and other topics. I don't know if there's a word in Hindi or Punjabi for "mensch", but I came away realizing that the assemblyman from Central Jersey is one. He may not have the pizzazz that some of his colleagues exhibit, but I believe he has a passion for service, both in his legislative life and his "civilian" profession - developing learning software for autistic kids. He may be the first Indian-American to serve in the New Jersey legislature, but his concerns transcend ethnic boundaries.
