Disclaimer: this posting is only the result of getting fairly slaphappy 10 days before the historic November 7 election. Ideas and suggestions shouldn’t be taken seriously, unless someone comes up with a really great one…..
Everyone has heard the voter suppression techniques infamous in places like Florida, Ohio, Missouri, et al. Intimidation techniques, incredibly long lines to vote, unconstitutional purges, aggressive poll challenges, and so forth. Some of it may be urban legend. A lot of it is undoubtedly true.
On November 7, I fully expect to cruise up to my Moorestown polling place, find plenty of close parking, no lines, and lots of smiling poll workers that assume I will loyally vote Republican. I expect that the total process will take 5 or 6 minutes out of my day. However, I’m not sure if they will continue the complimentary concierge services or not, The free car washes have been great, although they smudged my “Range Rover” last time.
If I lived in Cleveland, I would have different expectations. End of that story!
So for entertainment purposes only, what would be the fantasy Democrat techniques?
Here’s my first idea:
For November 7, rent a squad of white Taurus or vans. Put them at polling sites in strong Republican precincts. Plaster official-looking and terse “IRS Mobile Audit Team” Signs on the signs. Hire actors in black suits and equip them with clipboards and briefcases. Do lots of roaming around the parking lots, and be eager to meet incoming luxury cars?
Send out letters in heavy Republican areas, pre-election day, warning voters who have second homes, that new challenges will be made so that voters with residences in Moorestown and on LBI will need 6 forms of documentation to prevent double voting. “Please be patient”, the letter will read, “We expect only 30 or 40 minutes to confirm the validity of your documents”
Of course I’m only being ridiculous…I know Democrats who are affluent and have second homes. (But I also know who is more likely to be affluent and have second homes…)
Post YOUR ideas! Deadline is November 7!