| I'm sorry if I've not posted a lot these past two weeks. It has been hard to get my head around a tremendous loss. I know a lot of folks out there in NJ politics have had the pleasure to know Michael Barnes. He was extremely active in Democratic politics since moving to NJ years ago. He was a lawyer, practicing in Tenafly, and an incredible political mentor to me.
He was an amazing guy, and I have been so devastated by this loss, it is hard to even describe how I feel. I first met Michael at the very first Howard Dean meetup I ever went to - in May of 2003. When he heard I was from Tenafly, he came right up to me after the meetup - introduced himself, and talked about what we could do to help Howard Dean here in Tenafly. He was a soft-spoken guy, with a ready smile and a small town lawyer demeanor. I picture him as I usually saw him, sitting in his office at his computer, leaning all over his chair - just trying to get comfortable, but smiling and talking politics. He lived it, breathed it, and dreamed it 24/7. He loved Tenafly and he loved the rough and tumble campaign craziness. He THRIVED on it. He was always talking about how we should bring music into the downtown and how we could improve things here by using politics and good campaigning to do it.
Michael was our Municipal Democratic Chair during the time of the "Tenafly Five", Loretta Weinberg v. Ken Zisa legal wrangling to get our votes counted. I was constantly driving to Michael's house to pick up the latest paperwork to hand deliver to the BCDO. Michael worked tirelessly as our Chair to help get all those votes counted. Votes that ultimately resulted in us having an incredible new SENATOR Weinberg. It couldn't have happened without Michael.
He also gave the Tenafly Democrats a home and place to meet by sharing his law office with us for our meetings which had grown in size due to the increased # of new committee members we were able to recruit. He was ALWAYS thinking of us.
He was Chair during the successful re-election of Mike Lattif and Jeff Romano to the Council, and also during the absolutely devastating news that Jeff had succumbed to the personal hell of an addiction he could no longer hide from those closest to him, or himself. It was a rollercoaster of extreme victory and heart-wrenching hurt. Michael saw us through all of that.
Then, unfortunately, Michael needed to take a break from being Chair when health and personal issues took their toll on him. He stepped down from the Chairmanship and Shama Haider took over the helm. He suffered from MS during the entire time and some times were much harder than others for Michael. But he suffered silently.
While he was dealing with his own issues, Michael was still involved by letting us use his office downtown and by successfully running our campaign in 2006 for 3 council seats. One of those seats was for the unfinished term of disgraced Councilman Jeff Romano. Two of the other seats were against well-liked Republican incumbents. Against all odds, Michael helped me and my running mates craft a campaign based on positive, environmental concerns that used not even one negative ad. We ran a campaign WITHOUT Jeff Romano's money. We only raised about $8,500 for all three seats and still came in under budget. This was at a time when the Republicans here in Tenafly were saying to each other, based on Jeff's transgressions and dizzying fall from grace, that "No one will elect another Democrat in Tenafly for YEARS!" Michael nearly single-handedly managed our campaign - by writing the copy, arranging for all logistics of the advertising, hell, he did EVERYTHING. I was in nearly constant email contact with him over every detail of our groundbreaking campaign. He was amazing.
We won ALL 3 SEATS to the utter disbelief of the town Republicans who still had not recovered enough to even challenge our last 2 Council Candidates in 2007. As payment for his services, Michael only asked for a nice dinner out at Axia the new Greek restaurant in Tenafly. We obliged and I was so grateful for his help that I asked him to do the honor of swearing me in, which he did, with Loretta Weinberg right there next to me. Michael obliged even though at that point his MS was so bad that his hand shook so much he could barely sign his name.
While we all waited for Michael to recover from his private issues, which he kept to himself all too well, we went on with our lives, and our political activities, confident that Michael would rejoin us when he was ready, and feeling better. In the beginning of 2008, Michael approached me about his latest venture which sounded fun and exciting. He talked to me about it - he was regaining his health based on a change of diet and was anxious to open a new business - a Smoothie shop with healthy things to eat. It was right up my alley and I couldn't wait for the construction work to be done. We talked about the kinds of music he might have in the shop and the types of things he would sell. The last time I saw Michael he was giving me the grand tour of the place he was having fixed up. I was happy for him and excited about his latest project and glad he was feeling better.
But the thing about folks who always give so much of themselves and never divulge their hurts and their private demons to others is that their own lives suffer. Michael had problems with his family life that were devastating to him. It breaks my heart to think that the one person who had always helped me and so many others here so freely, was in desperate need of help that no one could give.
Michael was found after a week, all alone. It breaks my heart to know that it was the very same week I drove by his freshly painted new shop, with his sign in the window. I didn't stop in, because it looked like he wasn't there at that moment. I would pass it often, enjoying seeing the new paint and looking forward to stopping by for a smoothie and a long intellectual political chat with Michael, and maybe help him come up with new recipes and ideas for music to drum up business. I was so looking forward to helping Michael with this new positive chapter in his life and a new start.
Other friends HAD stopped by that week but left when it looked like he was temporarily out, busy, perhaps buying some new paint at Benjamin Brothers. We were thinking of him, I just wish with all my heart that wherever he is, he knows that. We were unwittingly and blessedly spared a heartbreaking discovery.
The obituary in the Record and the Suburbanite was barely a paragraph. It somehow seemed so wrong that a life so influential would go so unnoticed. I wrote a long eulogy on Friday night before the service on Monday. My computer problems made sure I would never be able to retrieve it Monday morning. I tried to go from memory and totally lost it at the service. I needed to regain my composure not once but several times. But I got through it. Michael deserved me to get this right. It was the least I could do for all he had done for us. The room was packed to capacity and one by one people reminisced about Michael. Our Mayor was there, as were 5 of our 6 Councilmembers who owe their very political careers to Michael. It was a moment that the true measure of our loss was laid bare. Michael had helped so many people in so many ways.
My only consolation is knowing that my last memories of Michael are happy ones of him proudly showing me around what would soon be his new shop and talking politics like he loved to do - about my race for Freeholder right before the Primary. Michael always believed in me and supported me, and was an incredible mentor to me. I would not be where I am without his incredible dedication to democratic ideals and his selfless heart. Michael P. Barnes was incredibly brilliant, incredibly funny, incredibly selfless, and his mark on NJ politics is historic, not because he sought the limelight for himself, but because he used politics to actually improve the human condition.
I miss him terribly. |
