The mean streets of Hoboken

by: Thurman Hart

Mon Jul 21, 2008 at 08:31:20 PM EDT

Hoboken, having failed to balance its municipal budget, called upon the state for assistance.  Having the cosmic sense of humor that patronage requires, former Bayonne mayor Joe Doria came to town to show people how it's done.  The result:

Already in a $10.5 million deficit for the new fiscal year, Hoboken cannot embark on a spending plan without approval from the state Department of Community Affairs, which assumed control of Hoboken's finances after the city failed to pass a 2008 budget.

Yeah - Joe Doria's budgetary leadership put $10.5 million of last year's spending on this year's budget.  This, in case you didn't know, is illegal.  But it's done.

But don't worry, Hoboken Mayor David Roberts has a plan - tax parking lots, collect parking meter fees, and invite Pepsi to sponsor local events.  Either that or lay off 300 people.  He's going to let Joe Doria decide.

Make the jump for some of the year's best hyperolic spin - and at least one person who is telling the truth.

Roberts' plan calls for the possible reduction of the city's 300-person municipal workforce by about 95 employees.

Twenty-eight potential retirements could save Hoboken an estimated $2.3 million, 30 provisional layoffs would save the city $1.2 million and 37 potential layoffs/demotions would save $2 million, according to the mayor.

The drastic measure could be avoided if the state goes along with his revenue enhancement ideas, he said.

Roberts said a city tax on parking lots could rake in over $1 million. Computerized parking meters in commuter districts could bring in more money, he said. Roberts wants the city to explore corporate sponsors for Hoboken's festivals.

"We need to go to national companies, like Pepsi, that could underwrite our events. That could make a million dollars," he said.

Why stop there?  Why not have a fertility clinic purchase advertising on parking meters?  "That ticking you hear is your biological clock, Jill."  Or maybe police officers could wear a special advertising sash: "Trojan offers extra protection!"  The city could offer expedited pothole repair for a small fee.  The Municipal Works truck could have a banner ad across the tailgate: "Preparation H soothes the hole thing."

As pathetic as Roberts' goal of balancing the budget by selling the city's municipal functions, it isn't that much different than when he balanced the budget by selling the city's property.  And, anyway, he is outdone in pure hyperbole by none other than Mr. Vince Lombardi:

Vince Lombardi, president of the Hoboken Police Officers Benevolent Association, said that if City Hall cuts the police force, each Hoboken resident should buy themselves a gun and a guard dog and put bars on their windows because "this city will become an open market for every criminal throughout Hudson County."

Bars on your windows won't stop the crime in city hall, Vince.  But we can at least take home one bit of honesty that explains why all of this is such a muckfest:

"This is nothing new. Every time there's an election there's always the threat of layoffs," said Joe Grossi, president of the Hoboken Municipal Employees Union. "How can you justify cutting city services when the town's population is increasing? I think you should be adding city services, not looking to cut."

Kind of explains a whole lot, doesn't it?