Onionish Awards - Just Weep, Bitches!

by: smells_like_the_onion

Mon Dec 17, 2007 at 03:34:15 PM EST

Dark Horse Candidate of the Year: John F. Kennedy for President.  This guy doesn't just kiss traitorous Flemocrats, he tongues them down as his running mate!

Best Virtual Pie Eater - Jerk Passedherneck has managed to turn his right-wing dumbassery site into the biggest embarrassment a peddler ever had.

Best Pornstar-turned-consultant - Scotty Swords.  'Nuff said.

Onions have layers, people.  Peel something off after the next layer.

Best Racist Tirade: Len Kudvixen of Central Farthington, "We got no 'fordable housing!"

Most Annoying Fake Activist: Lorry Kornfed - as they say in Nebraska, she's "Kornfed, inbred, and brain-dead". 

Best State Trooper Nickname: Partisan Bunghole.

Most Credible Threat to "Whack-Off" the Opposition: Steve Kush/Mister X.

Best Faith-Based Organization: CODPIECE

Best Explanation of Foreign Policy: Snott Scare-it -

IHOP pariah Snott Scare-it was non-plussed.  "I already shoot at my kids.  It makes them tough.  How can they pull themselves up by the bootstraps if I don't tear them down that low in the first place.  Besides, I own stock in Halliburton."

Best Stupid Op-Ed: O'Michael McPatrick Fitzcarrol

We would like to thank Repatrication Tehano for ignoring our obvious contributions as well.  We don't need no stinkin' nominations!  We rule, you drool!