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Assembly to Dunkin Donuts: Don't Neglect NJ

by: Juan Melli

Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:23:00 PM EDT



This just in - from the department of satire:
    FOR RELEASE: 

    COMMITTEE RELEASES DIEGNAN/LAMPITT MEASURE TO ENSURE DUNKIN' DONUTS OR THE DOUBLE D DOESN'T NEGLECT 'NJ'

    Legislators Say State's Coffee of Choice Should More Prominently Display Ties to New Jersey

      (TRENTON) - The Assembly Barista Committee today released legislation Assemblyman Patrick Diegnan and Assemblywoman Pamela R. Lampitt sponsored calling on the Dunkin' Donuts to redesign the orange and pink logo used by its franchises in the state to more closely link the coffee store with New Jersey.

      "The Dunkin' is our state coffee, yes I know it was founded in Quincy, Massachusetts and is an international retailer, but they still should be proud to display its ties to New Jersey as residents are to call their coffee - liquid crack," said prime sponsor Assemblyman Diegnan, "You wanna know why I introduced this bill? Have you ever tried their Coffee Coolatta with whip cream...for God's sake there is a Baskin Robbins and its 31 flavors right there."

      The Diegnan/Lampitt measure AR301 would urge Dunkin' Donuts to redesign its round-letter "DUNKIN' DONUTS" - prominently displayed on the front of the business' stores, coffee cups, donut boxes, boxes of Joe, napkins and even straws - to include the letters "N" and "J". Assemblyman Diegnan to prove his point showed off a Jerseyfied Dunkin' Donuts logo created by his wife, Anita, with the letters "NJ" added to the front in chicken scratch. "My wife likes to draw the letters "NJ" on almost everything," said Diegnan (D-Middlesex), the panel's chairman.  "She really loves being from New Jersey. Last week, we went to see Spider Man 3 and in the time it took for me to buy the tickets she had already written NJ Spider Man 3 on the movie poster and no, I don't know why people ask me if she is eight years old."

      "I am looking at resolutions that would urge every business, organization and place of worship in New Jersey to put the letters "NJ" before it," said Lampitt (D-Camden), the panel's vice-chair. "Think about how much easier it would be to find a taxidermist if it was in the phonebook under "N". This bill practically writes itself."

      Appearing before a stunned committee hearing to testify despite passing away in 2005 was Michael Vale, former mascot of Dunkin' Donuts, famous for his "time to make the donuts" catchphrase. Mr. Vale emphasized that while Dunkin' Donuts is an international business, it has always been at its heart a place where people gather together before facing their day and that he could see how this sense of community and pride in the local Dunkin' Donuts could translate into the bill before the committee. However, he cautioned that having died of diabetes more than two years ago that it might be best to cut down on the sugar and make less donuts.

      The bill was released 7-1. It now heads to the Assembly Speaker, who decides when the best time not to post the bill for a floor vote is.

Update: Our statehouse correspondent and logo design expert Jay Lassiter adds his rendition of the proposed modified logos: (regular and Steve Lonegan special edition)

dunkin  coffee for mayor longegan
Juan Melli :: Assembly to Dunkin Donuts: Don't Neglect NJ
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Dunkin' meets gardenstate pride (0.00 / 0)
I missed yesterday's Assembly Barista Committee hearing (darn it) but here's how i envisioned they might look.

activist for hire.Follow jay_lass on Twitter

for Mayor Lonegan..... (0.00 / 0)
...a tall snarky extra foamy hazelnuts latte.  en solidaridad!
(may also be enjoyed in New Jersey by Spanish speakers and non-speakers.)

activist for hire.Follow jay_lass on Twitter

Now I have a vision of Jay at his computer. (3.00 / 1)
Surrounded by a pile of empty Drunkin' Donuts cups and highlighters.

The nom de plume has a long and distinguished history.

[ Parent ]
behind ever great man..... (0.00 / 0)
...there is a blue Sharpie.

activist for hire.Follow jay_lass on Twitter

[ Parent ]
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