Wed May 02, 2007 at 08:59:49 PM EDT
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If you live in the greater NYC/NJ(north) area, you have to have heard that former NJ Governor Jim McGreevey might be headed for a professional clergy position in the Episcopal Church. McGreevey left the Catholic Church for the Episcopal Church after he admitted he is gay and resigned his governorship. The Catholic Church isn't exactly gay friendly, while the Episcopal Church - particularly in New Jersey - is. So it's very easy to understand why someone with a deep and personal sense of faith would move to a church where he would be accepted and welcomed as a full member.
That's actually the reason (at least one of them) why I moved to the Episcopal Church. I simply could not continue to be a part of a church that singled out a few scattered verses to justify and codify their hatred. I wanted a church that met me, in all my frail humanity, with an open heart and open mind - and challenged me to open my own heart and mind as well. In the very short time I've attended the Church of Our Saviour, I've come to think of them as my family - and they've certainly reciprocated beyond my wildest expectation. I needed a church where I could take my spiritual cup for replenishment every week, and they do so every week without fail.
So I've come to feel a deep affection for my new church, and for the greater structure that supports it. The issue of having openly gay clergy has not been easy for the Episcopal Church to deal with - to the extent that some of the oldest congregations in this country have voted to leave the administration of their duly appointed bishop. That's the church equivalent to secession, in case anyone is wondering.
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| Thurman Hart :: Rev. McGreevey? |
I'm proud to be a member in a church that supports the inclusion of gay Christians. In fact, it pleases me to no end that my pastor, Mark Lewis, is enough of a kindred spirit to have stuck his thumb squarely in the eye of New Jersey's legislature and sue for the right to marry the one he loves. So far the state courts have ruled that "civil unions" are good enough, but we hope that, once past the coming election, the legislature will take the final step and enact full marriage equality. With this in mind, I am happy to welcome the former Governor as a fellow Episcopalian and sincerely hopes that he finds the spiritual food that he needs.
I have to admit that I'm a bit hesitant to embrace his path to the priesthood, though. For one, I've seen far too many conversions collapse under the weight of disappointment and disillusionment. A person doesn't mean to set too high of a standard for their church - after all, the church is just a bunch of people - but we do, and it hurts when we realize that and sometimes that leads to withdrawal and abandonment. My wife and I joke that the Episcopal Church is "Catholic lite - all the faith and half the guilt", but changing churches (for someone who is spiritual at anything other than surface level) is like changing families. What is endearing the first year is sigh-worthy the second year and by the third year it begins to weigh on your soul. The surest way to prolong the "honeymoon" period is to dive too deeply too quickly and not give yourself time to adjust to the water. Only Jim McGreevey can know if he's adjusted to the water or not. For his sake, and the sake of those around him, I hope he has.
A second problem is the timing of this. Sometimes such things are simply coincidental, but McGreevey is currently involved in a very messy and public divorce. It is rarely a good idea to make a massive life-changing decision while going through a major life crisis. When you factor in the problem that McGreevey's wife doesn't want her daughter to accept communion outside of the Catholic Church, this decision takes on a whole new level of screwedness.
Of course, the path to priesthood is long and built to force people to face such issues. I trust that Jim McGreevey, and those who advise him, will use all the wisdom at their disposal to deal with this.
And that brings us to the part of this that will forever loom over Jim McGreevey, no matter what he does with his life. Despite a number of admirable accomplishments, the McGreevey Administration was, by all accounts, rife with corruption of all kinds. It wasn't his sexuality that pushed McGreevey out of the governor's mansion (Drumthwacket), it was his all-consuming ambition and the willingness to bargain away everything in order to achieve his goals. Trying to be straight when you're not and failing is understandable - but nothing about that can excuse the Machiavellian use of authority and position. I would have a difficult time as a parishoner accepting Jim McGreevey as my clergy person - not because he's gay, but because he has never come clean about the real reasons for his downfall.
The church is open to all and if we set impossibly high standards for service then it would surely fall. We are all broken people, each in our different ways. But we cannot be made whole, and others cannot lend their strength to compensate for our shortcomings, if the courage to be painfully honest about where we are broken and why isn't forthcoming as well. Jim McGreevey owes me no explanations and his forgiveness is between him and his God. But forgiveness is not the same thing as forgetting, and I'm thinking that there are a lot of people in New Jersey who would remember to be a bit hesitant in handing over their tithe with Jim McGreevey standing in the pulpit. |
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