Ferrierocrat Follies: The Contest

by: The Englewood Report

Fri Apr 06, 2007 at 06:08:06 PM EDT

  "Who's on first, what's on second?"
  - Abbott and Costello

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here?"
  - Ferriero and Coniglio

We've had a hard time keeping a straight face as Party Boss Joe Ferriero and his fumbling threesome (Zisa, Wildes and Wilson) trip on their clown shoes while trying to walk like Karl Rove. Only a few weeks into the campaign and already we have seen some howlers. So, to keep it entertaining, The Englewood Report is having a contest.

We have divided Ferrierocrat antics into three scorable categories.  The first person to reach 10 points in each antic category will be awarded a CD of the classic Abbott and Costello routine, "Who's on First".

We supply you with some examples and points to get you started.

Antic 1: Create bogus "talking points" in an attempt to control and divert attention.

Examples: The Violet Cherry Caper in which the Ferrierocrats inflate a local personnel matter into a bogus talking point.  If you believe that the powerless, moneyless 73 year-old retired Englewood Health Department director (who never has had patronage jobs or no-bid contracts to award) is a Bergen County "boss," then there is a bridge in Brooklyn that needs your name on it.  If you also believe that the Ferrierocrats are "reform Democrats," please write your reasons in soap on the driverside door of a Ferrari Enzo model F60 and deliver it to the Englewood Report office.

Score 2 points.  1 for each.

Antic 2: Strike a sanctimonious pose that has nothing to do with reality.

Example: Michael Wildes' riotous attack quote:  "You are known by the company you keep."  Gee, has the flipflopping recruit Wildes checked out his new buddies?

Score two points. 1 for the quote and another for keeping a straight face.

Antic 3: If you have little to recommend you, accuse your opponents of your own sins.

Zisa and company obviously didn't think much of their prospects, so they left the starting gate attacking the ethics of Senator Loretta Weinberg (who was just fine with them before she the prospect of joining their pay-to-play team).

According to antic 3, are we surprised that whatever Ferrierocrats accuse their rivals of, they themselves do?  Of course not! While Zisa accuses Weinberg of failing to report the value of legal work done by a NJ lawyer on her 2005 campaign forms, former Englewood mayor Sandra Greenberg has filed a complaint against Zisa for -- you guessed it -- failing to report the value of legal work done by a NJ lawyer on his 2005 campaign forms.

Welcome to the Little League of Swiftboating!

Score a well-deserved 2 points. 1 point for ambition (aspiring to emulate Rove), 1 bonus point for the entertainment value in getting caught so quickly.

Happy hunting!