I'm all like, f**k yeah! Kean is the only guy not on the take! And like, he told me if I gave him, like, ten dollars or sumfin that I could get a job in Washington. No s**t, dude! Hey, you should give him ten dollars, too, and then, like we could do this on-the-street s**t in the DC. Tom W - Camden County
Well, he's cute and he's got those dreamy eyes...I keep thinking that maybe Mike Ferguson will take him out to Georgetown and we could meet in a dirty little bar somewhere... Jane D - Atlantic County
There's a Republican running? Man, that takes balls. Sure, I'll vote for him. I wouldn't want him to feel bad, like the fat kid in PE at school. But first, I gotta cut the grass. Jose R. - Hudson County
I voted for him when he ran for Governor and I'll vote for him again. He's a damn site better than this Corleone fellow we got in Trenton now. Did you see what he did to that 9/11 Commission? Bob G. - Warren County
I'm voting for him because I'm a woman and he stands with women on important issues. Real women. Not those whores that want abortions. Kylie S. - Morris County
I'm telling you right now, I'm voting for whoever gives me the most cash. Kean...whoever, man. It's all about the green. Money talks, my man. Money talks. Tim J. - Bergen County
Yeah, I support him because he backs the President. Hey, I'm sorry, I thought I could get that out with a straight face. Come back, let me try again. Harry A. - Ocean County
Oh, Tom Kean. Yeah, he's running for President or something. I like him because his homies call him "Kid Kean". That's a badass tag, dude. "Kid Kean". It just drips with street cred.
From this reporters lengthy experience in political reporting, it appears that Tom Kean, Jr.'s support runs strong through a wide swath of the population. I feel confident, in my fair and totally balanced manner, in stating that we will have Senator Kean in November with at least 99% of the vote.
Yes, we will have State Senator Kean in November and he will have a full 99% of people whose last name is "Kean" vote for him. |
