Prince Charlie apologizes

by: smells_like_the_onion

Tue Apr 19, 2011 at 09:20:57 AM EDT

"I'm shocked," he told reporters outside of his luxurious Canco Condo, paid for by funds earned through blogging. "Are you sure he wasn't trying to order more soup?"

Prince Charlie is the embattled superintendent of Mersey Bity schools. He previously "served" as a State Assemblyman, but was forced to return to the near-poverty status as superintendent, where the salary is a paltry five bazillion samolians. He has come under increasing scrutiny due largely to his own stupidity - which is becoming apparent after "turning around" Mersey Bity schools for nearly thirty years.

"It takes a lot of water to turn a big ship," Prince Charlie has explained. "Just like a fat lady displaces a lot of water in the public pool - which is why I suggest charging them more because we have to pay to replace that water, you know?"

"This is why I can now say that the word 'ladies' was meant to include young men. Because young men can be bitches, too. 'Bitches' is gender-neutral in my book. And I get to write the book because I get paid so much money by the taxpayers to do things like that."

Refusing to take further questions from reporters, Prince Charlie held his arms out in a Nixon-esque jesture and shouted, "We out, bitches! PEACE!"