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A Message to New Jersey Campus Conservatives

by: IndependentNJ

Fri Mar 26, 2010 at 05:00:58 PM EDT



Dear anti-tax college students,

Let me just say that as a supporter of free speech, we all believe that you have the right to express your opinions, even if we disagree with them. However, you are attending a public college, and there are some things you need to know.

A public college, by definition, is one in which part of tuition is defrayed by tax dollars. Yes, taxes, the thing you constantly harp about, and government, in turn, spends money on the costs to run the universities. Yes, government spending, the thing that, with exception of declaring war on the entire world even without the funds to cover it, you so vehemently oppose, so much so that you are willing to don 18th century fashion, co-opt a historical event that was relatively radical, and scream insults about how the current president is a Muslimnazicommunistnoncitizenrapistsocialistclowncanadianindonesianafricanwitchdoctorracisttrope, and about how Barney Frank is going to make your kids wear assless chaps to school or how zombie Ted Kennedy is going to tax your lemonade stand and force you to wait 12 months to see your gummint-appointed doctor. But I digress. The point is, since you people are all about rugged individualism and pulling oneself up by the bootstraps, why are you attending college on other people's dimes.

Furthermore, in New Jersey, as well as across America, cuts to higher education are the latest trend, along with Taylor Swift and the choking game. Both parties are as guilty of cutting higher education (and some people from both parties are good on higher ed, such as the all-Republican delegation of New Jersey's Legislative District 40 who opposed Democrat Jon Corzine's higher ed cuts), although Republicans, conservatives, and libertarians tend to be philosophically more opposed to higher ed funding. We dunno why you conservatives/libertarians decided to attend a public college like this, maybe you wanted to make a wise investment or maybe you couldn't afford a private institution. However, we find it funny that the average college Republican wouldn't give a rat's patootie if Governor Christie cut higher ed funding; why are you are not working within the party to insure higher ed gets funded???

These things being said, We would hereby ask all college conservatives and libertarians to transfer out of this college and continue their educational studies at a private institution . Now, we are not Stalinists, as you people seem to portray those on the left as, and we are not going to force you to leave this campus, that's a decision you have to make. But if you are to put your bootstrap fetish where your mouth is and take personal responsibility for your education, maybe you should consider going to an institution not funded by tax dollars. We cannot tell you to stop your education at this college, but we will forever call you out for being hypocrites you are. And yes, there are conservative professors on campus, and no, they aren't being mass fired for their beliefs, your psychosis and faux-populist temper tantrums and white guy concerns are unsubstantiated.

Also, if you are one of those conservatives who are cantankerously pro-war at the expense of college education, might I suggest a career in the armed forces?? Don't be a chickenhawk, go to your local recruitment centre and sign up. Of course, most likely than not, you believe that only poor people of colour should be recruited. When you are being shot at, you will wish you were back at your taxpayer funded college campus screaming into the megaphone about keeping your government hands off our public colleges.

With loving regards,

Progressives and middle-class, working-class people at college campuses!!!

IndependentNJ :: A Message to New Jersey Campus Conservatives
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Um. (4.00 / 1)
Aren't chaps assless by definition?

"Where ever you go, there you are." - Buckaroo Bonzai

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