Author Archive: joeynovick

State Senator Girgenti sued for Patent Infringement of US Pat. No. 4,022,227: ‘The Comb Over’

In what is sure to be a source of embarrassment for State Senator John A. Girgenti (D-35) of Hawthorne —in his capacity as Chairman of the Senate Law and Public Safety Committee, as well as Vice-Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee—–Senator Girgenti was sued last Friday for infringement of United States Patent No. 4,022,227 by Frank & Donald Smith of Orlando, Florida.

According to the suit filed in the United States District Court for the District of New Jersey, the Smith brothers own a patent for “a method of styling hair to cover partial baldness using only the hair on a person’s head. The hair styling requires dividing a person’s hair into three sections and carefully folding one section over another,” – also known as “the comb over.”

United States Patent No. 4,022,227 was issued to the Smiths in 1977.

The suit claims “Girgenti willfully and knowingly infringed upon [the Smith’s patent] and has caused the rightful owners irreparable financial harm.”

The Smiths have asked the court for “an injunction to prevent the continuation of the use of [their patent]” and have also asked the court for “an award of damages because of the alleged patent infringement.” The “willful” infringement of a patent enables the plaintiff to collect treble damages, as well as attorneys’ fees.

Girgenti’s district office had no official comment when contacted, but an anonymous source indicated that the “…suit had no merit, as the Senator has been combing his hair that way for more than twenty years…”.

(Almost) LIVE from the CPAC 2011 Conference in Washington, DC

Sigh. – promoted by Rosi

I am here at the CPAC conference in Washington DC, and had the opportunity to see Mitt Romney speak this morning. CPAC – the Conservative Political Action Conference – is as crucial a gathering of neoconservatives, paleoconservatives, Tea Party people and rank-and-file Republicans as the Netroots Nation conference is for our side. The place is crammed with Republican presidential hopefuls and I’m enjoying walking around talking to people who probably disagree with me on just about everything.

I have met a large contingent from NJ, and got a chance to interview some of them. Will post video later.

more below

AP Newswire-Trenton-February 4, 2011: New census data show fastest growing: Facebook-Americans

AP Newswire Trenton February 4, 2011: New census data: Hispanics the dominant minority group; number 2: Facebook-Americans.    

New Jersey’s population grew more racially and online-virtually diverse over the past decade and continued its shift to southern counties, according to new data released today by the Census Bureau.

The numbers from the 2010 Census provide a detailed portrait of the state’s ongoing demographic changes, including population counts for all 21 counties, 566 municipalities.

Among the findings:

• Hispanics are now the dominant minority group in New Jersey after decades of sustained growth.

• However, the number of New Jerseyans who identified themselves as “FaceBook-Americans” rose 39 percent to roughly 1.5 million.

• Twitter-Americans were counted for the first time in 2010, and showed to be a growing virtual population at just under 3%.

• MySpace-Americans, once a dominant group in 2000, have dwindled down to .02% of the virtual population.

The Census information will be used almost immediately to redraw legislative districts in time for the November elections.

A man who identified as “BobinPJs” tweeted that the “rdstrictng plns in NJ n stp trtng us like r dnt exst.”

The white population continued to decline in New Jersey, falling 1 percent to about 6.03 million. This is the second consecutive decade the proportion of white residents has fallen in New Jersey, which New Jersey State Tea Party chair Donald Bardus Swartz, of Teaneck immediately “blamed on the Jews.”

In other news, Congressman Jon Ryan expressed concern that the new census data may cause New Jersey to lose several state legislative seats: “…now we have 40 state senators. This decrease in population due to having less people may cause that number to be 38 or even 35 by the time we’re all done.”

New Jersey News Shocker: Christie To Perform Super Bowl Halftime Show

Ending a six-year run of classic rock stalwarts, the Republican governor of the Garden State will perform in the Super Bowl XLV halftime show on Feb. 6.

The NFL, in conjunction with the Republican National Committee, announced Gov. Chris Christie’s appearance for the Green Bay Packers-Pittsburgh Steelers game this coming Super Sunday.

He will be the first contemporary act since the Janet Jackson-Justin Timberlake craziness of 2004,

said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and newly-elected GOP National Chair Reince Priebus, in a joint press release.

Priebus, who is from Wisconsin and a Green Bay Packers fan, indicated that special precautions were being taken to make sure that a similar “wardrobe malfunction” did not take place during the governor’s appearance.

…That could get really ugly,

added Priebus.

The last six performers — Paul McCartney, the Rolling Stones, Prince, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, and the Who — all had decades of hits with appeal for viewers of all ages.

The Garden State Governor has no such track record, but remains a reliable bet:

He has become a YouTube sensation, yelling at NJEA teachers and stumping for Republican candidates across the nation,

added Goodell.

…in the early days of the Super Bowl, the NFL had such reliable and legendary entertainers as Carol Channing in 1970 and 72; and Up with People in 1976. We feel going back to good family wholesome entertainment, is what families want to see at the Super Bowl,

finished Goodell.

The exact production of the governor’s performance was still unknown at press time but Goodell assured fans that

they would see the governor at his best.

The University of Texas Marching Band will be playing the role of ‘union teachers’ in a big musical finale, where the governor yells at all of them all at once…there’s also gonna be several feet of machine made snow, during which the governor flies off to Florida,

said Goodell proudly.

Super Bowl XLV will take place at Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas.

January 24-28, 2011: That Was New Jersey News That Was!

* Congressman Jon Runyon of New Jersey’s Third Congressional District: Rep. Runyon issued the following statement regarding President Obama’s State of the Union address: “…first the president doesn’t tell Congress who is coming from China, next none of the beer vendors at the speech ever made their way up to where I was sitting. And that was another thing, I have to sit next to “Democrats”—and the president used to many highfalutin’ words. I mean–WTF?”

*N.J. bill aims to end nepotism at charter, public schools: “Though nepotism has been a way of life in some New Jersey school districts, there are signs that change may be coming,” said State Sen. Randall “Randy” Stottlemyre (D-41). “This bill being considered by the state Assembly would prohibit the state’s charter schools and 588 school districts from hiring staff who are related to the superintendent, a board member, personnel director, business administrator or the school district’s attorney,” added Middlesex County School Superintendent Martin “Marty” Stottlemyre. Woodbridge Township Superintendent John “Johnnyboy” Stottlemyre said “…the bill will not affect his school district because nepotism rules have been in place since at least 1992.”

* Gov. Christie tells anti-abortion activists he is on their side during Statehouse rally: Gov. Chris Christie made brief remarks before hundreds who weathered bitter temperatures to mark the anniversary of the Supreme Court’s decision in Roe v. Wade. Speaking for five minutes without a coat, Christie told the attendees that “every life is precious and a gift from God.” In response, God issued the following statement: “First of all, I am a God of free will. Notice that I do not demand that People love Me or accept Me. I loved You first and allow You to make the choice to accept that love and to love Me back. Now that’s Pro-Choice. Also, if you go outside in 0° weather, wear a coat for Me Sakes. You’re the governor! First you go to Florida in a snowstorm–then you don’t wear a coat when it’s freezing out? What kind of example is that to set for New Jersey kids, huh?”

* North Hunterdon High teen breaks up mid-terms with disgusting smell: A 16-year-old Clinton Township boy faces disorderly charges for causing a disgusting smell in his classroom during mid-term exams at North Hunterdon High School. According to police, the teen was in class at North Hunterdon on Monday and asked to use the bathroom. The boy then took a carry-out style coffee mug with a screw-on cap with him to the nurses’ office bathroom. The boy defecated in the mug, screwed the cap on, and returned to the classroom where he unscrewed the lid, and “this caused a disruption in the classroom,” police said. The American Center for Law and Justice (ACLJ) which focuses on constitutional law for conservative issues, has decided to “defend the boy’s First Amendment right to express his views in any way he so chooses. This is like the Tinker case all over again… only maybe we can call it the Stinker case…”.

News Shocker: Republicans Reveal Acronym For Healthcare Repeal Bill

In the past, Congress has come up with creative acronyms for legislation. For example, The USA PATRIOT Act actually stood for “Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act”. Or the CLEAR Act, The Carbon Limits and Energy for America’s Renewal Act, a bipartisan climate bill geared to reduce global warming.

The Republican Legislative Mandated Acronyms Office (RLMAO) has issued the acronym for the “Job-Killing Health Care” Law Act.

Arnold Stanford Sadberrry, the head of RLMAO, in a press release stated that the Bill title stands for “Just Obstruct Barack: Keep Illegal Legislation Languishing In Neverland, Guys. His Efforts At Legislation Talk: Harmful! Congress Are Republican, Everybody!”

In other news, Gov. Christie wife Mary arrived at the state dinner for Chinese Pres. Hu Jintao at the White House, objecting to “the requirement that all elected Republicans from New Jersey have a strip search before entering the White House”.

Runyan launching an investigation of Obama for refusing to “reveal who is coming from China”.

snark, promoted by Rosi

Janaury 18th, 2011: NJ 3rd District Congressman wants to know “Who’s Coming to the US From China?”

Congressman Jon Runyan is launching an investigation of the Obama Administration for refusing to “reveal who is coming from China” for a state visit this week.

“The only thing I heard from the White House was a question, ‘Who is coming from China?’. This administration needs to be more open with the American people regarding foreign affairs,” said newly elected Congressman. “This is outrageous.”

Last week, the Obama administration issued an update of the presidential schedule to newly elected Speaker of the House John Boehner, and he passed the information onto Runyan in a phone conversation. We obtained the transcript:

Speaker Boehner: Hu is coming from China.

Rep. Runyan: That’s what I want to find out.

Speaker Boehner: That’s what I said: Hu is coming from China.

Rep. Runyan: Are you the Speaker?

Speaker Boehner: Yes.

Rep. Runyan: And you don’t know this Chinaman’s name?

Speaker Boehner: Well, I should.

Rep. Runyan: Well, then who’s coming from China?

Speaker Boehner: Yes.

Rep. Runyan: I mean the fellow’s name.

Speaker Boehner: Hu.

Rep. Runyan: The guy coming from China.

Speaker Boehner: Hu.

Rep. Runyan: The Chinese guy having dinner with Obama.

Speaker Boehner: Hu.

Rep. Runyan: The guy eating in the White House…

Speaker Boehner: Hu is having dinner with Obama!

Rep. Runyan: I’m asking YOU who’s having dinner with Obama

Speaker Boehner: That’s the man’s name.

Rep. Runyan: That’s who’s name?

Speaker Boehner: Yes.

Rep. Runyan: Well go ahead and tell me.

Speaker Boehner: That’s it.

Rep. Runyan: That’s who?

Speaker Boehner: Yes.


Rep. Runyan: Does THIS guy have a birth certificate?

Speaker Boehner: I should think so.

Rep. Runyan: Who’s having dinner with Obama?

Speaker Boehner: That’s right.

Rep. Runyan: What’s the Chinese guy’s name on his birth certificate?

Speaker Boehner: No, Watt is the name of the Secretary of the Interior under Reagan.

Rep. Runyan: I’m not asking who served under Reagan.

Speaker Boehner: Hu never served under Reagan! I am telling you, Hu is the president of China!

Rep. Runyan: Look, All I’m trying to find out is the Chinese guy’s name.

Speaker Boehner: Hu! Hu is the president of China! Hu is eating with Obama!

Rep. Runyan: Who is the president of China? Who is eating with Obama?

Speaker Boehner: That is the first intelligent thing you have said.

Rep. Runyan: I don’t even know what I am talking about! If this guy leaves China, he leaves someone else in charge.

Speaker Boehner: I should say he does. A prime minister.

Rep. Runyan: Can tell me the name of the Chinese prime minister?

Speaker Boehner: Do want the name of the Chinese prime minister? Wen.

Rep. Runyan: You can tell me now.

Speaker Boehner: I will tell you: Wen.

Rep. Runyan: You’ll tell me when?

Speaker Boehner: I just told you, Wen.

Rep. Runyan: Look, all I wanna know is who is the Chinese prime minister?

Speaker Boehner: No, Hu is having a state dinner with Obama.

Rep. Runyan: The dinner is for who?

Speaker Boehner: Right. Now you’ve got it!

Rep. Runyan: I don’t even know what I am talking about! And this is taking too long.

Speaker Boehner: What did you say?.

Rep. Runyan: Long! Too long!

Speaker Boehner: Loong? Loong’s the leader of Singapore! He’s not coming to dinner!

Governor’s plan to help Gannett Layoffs: “Create less news…a government about ‘nothing’.”

January 13th 2011: Governor announces plan to deal with Gannett Newspapers Announced Layoff Plans:  “We plan to create less news.  This will become a government about ‘nothing’.”

The Gannett Company, owners of the largest newspaper chain in the nation, announced staff layoffs in three daily New Jersey newspapers.  The Gannett Company includes the Courier News in Somerville, the Home News Tribune of East Brunswick and the Daily Record in Morris County.  Ninety-nine staffers at the papers will have to apply for 53 remaining positions which amounts to the elimination of approximately half the editorial staff. Gannett  has sought assistance from the Math Department at Rutgers to determine exactly “what percentage of 99 is 53.”

The Gannett Company, seeking assistance from the governor’s office and the people of New Jersey, issued a request through the New Jersey Business Action Center for the governor to issue an Executive Order requiring “elected officials around the state to do less, maintain a lower rate of activity by at least 50%, and do ‘less with less’.”

The mayor of a small central New Jersey town, who wish to remain anonymous, said, “For years they’ve been asking us to do more with less; for a while we had to do less with more; and now they’re asking us to do less with less-it’s all getting very confusing.”

“If we can count on cooperation of New Jersey’s state senators, assemblyman, mayors, and locally elected officials to create less news by doing less in their communities, we can ride the wave of this recession by using fewer reporters to report the less news created,” said George H. White, Executive Director of the New Jersey Press Association.

Both Gov. Christie and Senate President Steve Sweeney were ready to do their part: “… I am ready to do less about the financial problems facing New Jersey small towns and create less news,” said the governor in a statement issued by spokesman Michael Drewniak.

“I am also ready to continue abstaining on important issues coming before the state Senate in order to create less news,” said Senate President Sweeney. “Working together we can do less and less, so as to help the New Jersey newspaper industry to survive this recession.”

In other news, JWoww of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” (real name Jenni Farley) filed an Order To Show Cause in court in a bid to stop her former lover and manager from cashing in on nude pictures he had taken of her.

“I’d hate for such photos to destroy my pristine image,” said JWoww.