New Jersey, Delaware to Merge

In a surprise move today, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie announced a merger between New Jersey and Delaware. The new state will be called “New Jersey.”

“It makes a lot of sense”, Christie said. “It has always bothered me that New Jersey had an odd number of counties, and by adding Delaware’s three counties to the state, we now have a nice even 24, which coincidentally is the same as the name of my favorite television program.”

In a related move, Christie announced that his alma mater, the University of Delaware, will be merged into Rowan University. Attorney Philip A. Norcross has been named President of the academic institution. When questioned about this action, Christie replied, “It just makes sense. This gives Rowan a Division I football team and nobody ever heard of a blue hen, anyway.”

When told that Delaware Governor Jack Markell strenuously objected to the merger of the two states, and that the matter should be brought to the people, Christie replied, “He’s an idiot. Someone should take a bat to him.”

Comments (8)

  1. Bill Orr

    NJ unemployment would instantly drop below 9%.  Christie could decide to drop one or both of the Dem northern NJ Senators and substitute a southern Dem Senator but he would be stuck with an additional Dem. Representative. He could further reduce state govenment by following Delaware’s practice of no sales tax. He would add more beaches, more wealthy people he could help, conservatives in southern DE, and more folks to bully. Smart move.

  2. JeffO Teaneck

    Worthy of The Onion.

  3. gary stein

    you like Mr. L’s idea about Delaware/Jersey. What if someone, me, proposed incorporating Mexico into the United States? And I have (with Mexico’s consent of course, that being the citizens, not the elitists in power).  And I could possibly get elected and introduce a bill, sure I could,  because I’m a candidate for federal office, and you’re not.  And it makes eminent sense, assuming they’d agree to forgo certain entitlements for a good number of years.  

    As I see it, anything should be on the table considering how badly elected Democrat and Republican’s have served us.  And I remember you suggesting I take a hike lol

  4. JackHarris


  5. Sy

    It’s only two at low tide.

  6. Blue12345

    This is hilarious.  I was thinking of The Onion the whole time I read this.  Great piece.

  7. Sy

    It’s two at HIGH tide; it’s THREE at low tide.

  8. deciminyan (Post author)

    Once Global Warming kicks in, it may always be two counties.


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