If lip-reading Rick Perry is getting old, and looking at Crazy-Eyes Michele Bachmann is no less alarming than reading what Crazy-Eyes Michele Bachmann actually says, and you’re tired of watching the national press fall for Chris Christie’s shy-virgin act, here’s something you probably know better about than they – or anybody else in the national political press do – the excuses Christie could make for jumping into the 2012 presidential race.
Here are 9 Christie excuses via Huffington Post comedy. Can you top them?
1. Watched Independence Day for first time. So wanted to be Bill Pullman in that movie.
2. Finally learned Excel. Now I’m ready.
3. I just realized the President of the United States doesn’t have to live in New Jersey.
4. After Herman Cain won the straw poll in Florida, I figured ANYONE can do it.
5. It’s the only way to find out who would play me on ‘SNL’.
6. I was trying to wait until this season of ‘Jersey Shore’ ended, but what the hell.
7. Hoping a failed run for president will finally get me on ‘Dancing With the Stars.’
8. Have heard amazing things about the White House chef.
9. Woke up today and realized ‘I’m fucking Chris Christie.’
Okay, Blue Jersey – What are your excuses Chris Christie could use to rationalize a 2012 run?