Eleven Predictions for 2011

It’s time for the traditional Deciminyan predictions for the upcoming year.  Last year, we were three for three. This year, we’ll do it a bit differently – go out on a limb in some cases – and include some tongue-in-cheek forecasts as well as some serious ones. I’ll leave it to the reader to determine which are which.

Click on the link below for the predictions

  • New Jersey congressional redistricting is completed after some contentious debate. It results in Congressmen Rush Holt and Chris Smith being placed in the same district, setting up a 2012 showdown between a nuclear physicist and an otherwise relatively sane anti-choice zealot.
  • Congressman Scott Garrett will say something intelligent. Congressman Jon Runyan will say something original.
  • John Adler takes a job as a Washington lobbyist for a large foreign-owned pharmaceutical company.
  • Due to infighting among Republicans and their Tea Party allies, the Democrats retain control of both houses of the New Jersey legislature, albeit with smaller margins.
  • New Jersey Supreme Court Justice Roberto Rivera-Soto bows to bipartisan pressure and resigns from the court. Governor Christie nominates corporate lawyer Anne Patterson to that spot, and she is quickly confirmed by a compliant Democratic senate. To further placate the right wing, Christie nominates a Tea Party lawyer to the open slot he created by his politically-motivated firing of Justice John Wallace.  State Senate President Sweeney still refuses to hold confirmation hearings until March 2012 (when Wallace would have reached mandatory retirement age), but Christie still scores his political points – a win-win for both Christie and Sweeney.
  • California Proposition 8 is struck down by the United States Supreme Court in a surprising 6-3 decision with Justices Kennedy and Scalia part of the majority. Texas congressman Louie Gohmert leads a group of 37 House Republicans who immediately petition for the start of impeachment proceedings against Kennedy and Scalia.
  • By the end of 2011, American combat troops are still taking casualties in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Yemen.
  • Education Commissioner Christopher Cerf and the NJEA jointly develop and agree on a radically new approach to teacher tenure.  Cerf is immediately fired by the governor.
  • Governor Christie partakes in several overseas junkets, sponsored by his Reform Jersey Now slush fund. These trips are ostensibly to bring more foreign commerce into New Jersey, but in reality are to establish his foreign policy credentials in preparation for a position on the presidential ticket.
  • Also, in preparation for his bid to national office, Governor Christie publishes his first book, “Shared Sacrifice,” which includes first-person anecdotes on how his children lament the high salaries of public school teachers while millionaires still have to pay taxes.
  • Blue Jersey scoops the state and national media by uncovering a scandal involving 17 local and state politicians in Bergen County and their dealings with a foreign criminal syndicate. As a result, Rosi Efthim appears as a guest on Countdown with Keith Olbermann 3 times during the year.

Comments (5)

  1. Bertin Lefkovic

    Holt-Lance makes much more sense, because it simply restores the 7th and 12th districts to their former states of competitiveness.

    The only difference is that Frank Pallone is not going to be willing to part with Plainfield under any circumstances and will give up his half of Edison as well as Dunellen, Middlesex, and Piscatatway instead to a competitive and open 7th.

    Reply
  2. Thurman Hart

    That isn’t even enough to buy chinese food.

    Reply
  3. SeamusNJ

    It may take longer than 2011, but:

    South Africa will lead a worldwide effort to boycott New Jersey due to economic apartheid.  South African President Jacob Zuma announces “a system that institutionalizes wealth at the expense of protection, education and health of the great majority of the citizenry cannot be allowed to stand in the 21st century.”  Bishop Demond Tutu’s efforts to appeal to Governor Christie end in Christie shouting the octogenarian Bishop out of Trenton.  An unidentified source in the Dutch Foreign Services stated “it’s 50 versus one, does the term ‘Custer” mean anything to them?”

    Reply
  4. Smudge358

    the LG will finally step from behind of Christie’s shadow and reveal that she is actualy a very pale black woman.

    Reply

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